Chapter 109

Christian shows up first, followed by a timid looking Jenny who seems to appear rather closely to Nate.
Gathering together in the street outside Arrick’s house. I notice Nate is being rather attentive to my girl
and tries to take her hand as he catches up with her; she looks away, pulling away from him and slides
an arm through mine in a coy move without catching his eye. I frown her way suspiciously and file it
away to interrogate her as soon as I get her alone with Christian.

I’m now standing away from Arrick, as soon as I saw them appearing I made him let go of me and
moved to two feet apart, needing a space to see my friends and let them know what has happened. My
texts outlined the briefest explanation only and I am so not ready to be identified as Arry’s new love
interest just yet. I feel like they may judge me on my readiness to jump into a relationship when last
night, I swore to never let him near me again.

“Well hey, hey.” Christian grins swooning between us all and looking far too wide awake and glamorous
while the rest of us are rough as hell. He winks at Arrick and gives him a coy shoulder nudge.

“See you finally manned up.” He smiles at Arrick’s frown and waves jazz hands in the air between
them. So unmanly it’s almost painful, but it makes me and Jenny giggle as Nathan also bursts into a
grin. Seems he isn’t surprised to see us together and I catch the way he throws me a satisfied ‘know it
all’ smirk.

“I’m still in two minds about whether I should beat you or hug you.” Arrick tries for deadpan cool but
Christian only gushes at Arrick’s sense of humor.

“Both. I am so into that.” He giggles and winks his way, with a little twirl back to me and a butt wiggle.
Arrick just shakes his head and sighs before breaking into a huge smile. Obviously feeling dumb that
he never once clicked that Christian is very unmistakably gay.

“I can’t believe I ever thought this guy was straight.” He laughs, and Nate throws him the ‘you’re
obviously a moron’ look over everyone’s heads. I catch it and giggle a little harder. Arrick must have



been completely blind to not pick up on it before, I mean Christian is currently sashaying around in a
sparkly T-shirt with a huge rainbow heart on the front and wearing matching sneakers over ultra-skinny
jeans. It’s not exactly inconspicuous.

I turn away and give Jenny a little nudge, noticing the way her eyes follow Nate as he moves in to give
Arrick the familiar ‘Bro’ handshake and shoulder bump, the two of them lagging behind as we start
walking towards the exit of the street. Christian comes to my free side and loops my other arm, gaining
distance on the two men behind us so he can cut in with a whisper. Like three witches from Hocus
Pocus doing the crazy walk and huddled to gossip about men.

“Did you two do the bed boogie last night? Notice you disappeared, along with our shameless hussy
over there and the rather sexy Nathan.” He raises an alarming eyebrow at Jenny whose face turns
crimson. She literally recoils in mortification.

“Shh!” Jenny scalds him, glancing back between us to check they aren’t listening, but the two of them
are lost in conversation with equally serious expressions behind us and paying no attention to us. I
glance back and catch Arrick smiling at something he is saying to Nate and that heart-swelling warmth
hits me like it used to when I looked at him. I push it down, turning back to my friends, back to the very
serious subject in hand.

“Jenny, please tell me you didn’t hook up with Nate?” I giggle at her in both shock and a little disbelief,
not sure if I am happy for her or not. Nate is such a womanizer and Jenny only just got dumped by her
boyfriend of almost two years. I don’t even know if I am impressed or seriously wowed.

“I got so drunk; I feel like such a slut. We somehow ended up making out in Arrick’s mom’s
greenhouse, I don’t even remember how we got there.” Jenny’s turning beetroot and unable to look us
in the eye, trying to keep her voice on the low. Christian grinning like a Cheshire cat, clearly proud of
his ‘hussy’ girls and trying to coax the sordid details it out of her.



“That’s my girl! Only way to get over a man is to have a new one under you and fuck your brains out.
So, did he?” Christian winks dirtily and Jenny burns even redder, her face a picture of utter mortification
and she glares at him with an open mouth.

“Be quiet! ... There definitely has to be something said for men who have been around a lot of women.”
She smiles shyly. Glancing back again quickly to see if they can hear us, and then at us. Blushing
crazily and hitting the giggles; she looks so cute and girly right now and I realize it’s the first time I have
ever seen her look this way.

“Jenny. I’m completely gobsmacked.” I smile, squeezing her arm and figuring that maybe she needed
to do something this out of the norm to feel better; she doesn’t seem overly cut up about her ex anyway
and there is no hint of guilt. I wonder if she really had been ready to end things with him after all.

“He was sooo good. I thought I’d experienced orgasms before, but Oh, my God. I literally couldn’t walk
after. He took complete control of everything and did things I never imagined I would ever want. He
makes me feel so crazily sexy.” She whispers then giggles at her revelation. I smile but then my heart
plummets as reality catches up with me and the fact Jenny isn’t the type of girl to sleep around,
especially not someone who gets into kinky aerobics in a greenhouse with a born womanizer. I don’t
want to crush the ‘Christmas morning’ expression she has on her face, but I know I can’t let her go
down this path to heartache.

“You know that’s what he is though right? A guy who sleeps around a lot. That nothing will come from
this except heartbreak if you want more.” I point out honestly, watching her face as she bites on her
bottom lip, curbing the smile and taking on a serious expression as she regards me with a nod.

“I know. I figured that out in the first five minutes of meeting him that he’s a major man whore. I knew
what I was getting, and I think that’s why I went for it. He made me forget about everything and feel
really good for one night. Made me realize how much better than Mark I can do. Mark is a selfish prick
who only ever thinks about himself and never even gave me one orgasm in two years.” Jenny blurts out



with a whoosh of relief, as though glad to finally get it off her chest. Christian’s head almost snaps off in
the way he turns to her with horrifying speed.

“WHAT? Oh, my God … I would die! Pretty sure that borders on domestic abuse of some sort.”
Christian exclaims loudly, his face aghast and laughs when we both Shh him with little slaps on his
chest. Trying to muffle him down and both glancing back quickly and very obviously at the men walking
behind. We’re both physically abusing Christian, there’s no doubt in my mind that they probably know
we are talking about them.

I glance back and catch Arry looking at me, while Nate has his head tilted in, saying something to him
with a serious expression and only half keeping his attention. Arrick catches my eye and smiles at me
immediately; that half-smile, soft dimpled one he gives when he’s feeling relaxed and happy. Despite
myself, I smile back, all tingly and warm, my face heating slightly, before turning back to my friends.

“So, you two?” Jenny nudges me; my turn for the interrogation as she obviously caught that little
moment between us and is now bringing the much quieter Christian’s attention to my face too.

“He wants to try … a relationship. I mean like a dating relationship. We had sex, sort of, I was too
drunk, and we ended up just sleeping together and kind of talked.” I evade the details of what really
happened, I’ve never told them about my past abuse and I never will. Explaining would be futile and I
still do not want anyone else to know. I watch the ground as we walk in case my expression gives
anything away.

“He looks like a guy who is pretty smitten to be fair. Even when we got on the plane it wasn’t hard to
see.” Jenny breaks in, looking thoughtful, slyly glancing back at the two men between our heads and
locking eyes back on me.

“I got that vibe from the restaurant too … See! Told you working the jealous angle would get to him.”
Christian’s smug and I shake my head at him, not wanting to point out that if it weren’t for Christian,



Arry would have swept me off my feet two months earlier and saved me a world of pain and anger for
an extended period.

***

We walk on towards town and the familiar sight of the little café turned bistro with its outside tables
already occupied. Morning walkers sitting with pancakes and sundaes, despite the colder tinge in the
air. Arrick catches me from behind and separates me from my entourage when we part ways to single
file into the door. Taking my hand and pulling me against him from behind so he can put his other hand
on my hip, walking past the chrome tables and quaint umbrellas and inside to the shade of the shop. I
notice Nate skirts by us and ends up directly behind Jenny, a hand on her lower back as he guides her
towards tables behind Christian and she doesn’t remove it.

“What’s the deal with him?” I nod towards his back with a questioning look, knowing fine well he is a
‘love them and leave them’ type and rarely gentlemanly with a girl after he has already banged her. By
now he’s normally blanking them, forgetting their name and eyeing up a new conquest. He’s acting
completely out of character and it’s plain weird.

“Apparently, she blew his mind last night. Best sex he has ever had, and he is not ready to let that go.”
Arrick frowns, shaking his head at his mates back with an air of disapproval. I guess, like me, he’s
finding the sudden change a bit weird.

“She’s just come out of a relationship, last thing she needs is this.” I scowl towards them as they find a
table and start sitting down. The three of them look completely at ease already, as though Nate has
known them as long as I have.

“Maybe it’s exactly what she needs, no strings attached sex with someone who will take her mind off it
for a while. Sex can work miracles when both sides know that’s all it is.” Arrick shrugs my way and then
pulls me over with the speed of light and deposits a kiss on my mouth followed by a cheeky smile. He’s



getting bolder with throwing kisses my way and don’t mind this time, I’m sort of starting to like the fact
he wants to kiss me anytime he sees fit.

“And here you told me that sex was not that big a deal!” I murmur it softly, mostly to myself as my brain
fades into last night, stupidly verbal. Swallowing that tiny hint of insecurity and a whole lot of self-doubt.

“It’s not! Not when it comes to us anyway. I told you … What we have is worth a thousand times more
than sex.” Arrick squeezes me around the shoulders and kisses my temple gently, guiding me towards
the booths.

I dart a look back at him for a moment, curbing the urge to say anything else and let him push us to sit
in the seats with our friends. Christian on one side of Jenny and Nate on the other as we slide in to face
them, Arrick’s arm immediately slides along the back of the seat behind me so he’s caging me in and
leaning my way. Picking up the menu he hands it to me first.

***

“Since when did you start eating banana and blueberry waffles with pecan sauce?” I laugh, staring at
the identical plates placed in front of us after we all finally ordered food. We’ve all been chatting idly,
about the party, school, work and nothing in particular. It’s odd, for a group of people who were
separate the day before, that we seem to all have gelled easily, even Christian is looking decidedly at
home with two very macho men. Sprawled in the seats and eyeing up everyone’s food.

I guess he gets the vibe from both that being gay is clearly fine. I knew it would be, Arrick has loads of
friends who are gay, Nate’s little brother is gay, and both are pretty accepting of most types of people,
overall. I can’t stop myself glancing at Arrick and realizing how quickly and easily I am falling back into
being used to his company again. The initial confusion is draining away and I’m more relaxed now that
we are all sitting around with no pressure to be anything but sociable. He’s being him, laying off the



romantics and the touchy-feely and being who he has always been. Relaxed and chill in my company
and yet still cutely attentive.

“You always seemed to love it, so I figured I would see what the fuss is about, besides, I am so
hungover right now and this sounded better than a fry up.” He digs in, taking a mouthful and chewing it
slowly as if to savor the taste before giving me an approving look and digging in for more. I shake my
head and follow suit, trying not to moan with pleasure at the first bite of something I have craved since
moving to New York. Literally, a taste sensation exploding in my mouth.

“You have to admit, this is sooo good.” I gush between bites, slapping Christian’s hand as his fork
makes a dive at my food with a cheeky smile across the table.

“You are playing with fire there, mate, she doesn’t share, only steals.” Arrick warns him with a smirk,
winking my way and carrying on with his own food while I scowl at Christian’s hovering fork. I lean over
my plate with a cat-like motion and give him my best ‘I will maim you’ growl. Arrick sighs and pushes
his plate towards Chris.

“Here, try mine … it will be less violent if you do.” He sits patiently while Christian takes a forkful and
throws me a triumphant eyebrow raised ‘ha ha’ look. Smug that he got what he wanted after all and
without physical harm.

“I will stab you with my fork.” I warn him grouchily, meeting only smiles and winks before he blows me a
kiss. I notice Jenny and Nate have gone off into quiet conversation again, heads ducked in as he says
something that has her giggling. I frown across at him, wondering what his game is and mentally
hoping to God she really does take this as a passing casual sex thing. She looks pretty this morning,
carefree and less stressed and it’s the first time I’ve noticed that she seems more relaxed than the last
few months, I wonder how much of that has been Mark.



“How do you put up with such a little brat like her?” Christian eye rolls at Arry, catching my frowny face
as he meets my foot colliding with his shin under the table, giving off a womanly squeal as I scowl at
him.

“Learning how to avoid her violent triggers helps.” Arrick grins, lifting my hand from the table in his,
bringing my fingers to his mouth softly, kissing them before letting me go. I have to admit the little
stomach surge it gives me doesn’t go unnoticed. Christian immediately goes pie-eyed and practically
starts salivating at this show of cuteness. I, however, ignore it, push down the butterflies and carry on
eating.

You don’t get to see me go mushy yet.

“About that. Why is she such a demon at times? I mean, I have bruises in odd places from this stroppy
little mare when she throws one on me.” Christian sulks, I falter but shove more food in my mouth and
try not to let my uneasiness on the topic show. I know I have always been aggressive; I can’t help it. My
body reacts and lashes out before my mind does. The therapist helped me get better, less volatile but I
am aware that I have issues in that department and it’s not something I am proud of. It also doesn’t
help that I grew up beside Leila, and half my violent outbursts are thanks to her.

“She’s fiery, passionate and a little hellcat at times; best things about her.” Arrick replies huskily.
Locking one me intensely as he brings his gaze to mine, complete adoration evident all around and no
hint of knowing anything about why I am the way I am, even though he knows. I blush under his intense
stare and go back to eating, loving him for always keeping my secrets for me, even when surrounded
by friends who might know. The one thing he has never done, even with Natasha, was tell anyone the
things I trusted him with. My past is not something I want people to know.

“Shut up and eat, you two are distracting me from the best waffles in the world.” I frown at them both,
picking up my milkshake to start washing away the food, trying to show how uncomfortable I am with



two pairs of adoring eyes aimed my way as they bond over their love of me. I never thought this would
be a scenario I would be in the middle of. Especially not when we were on the plane two days ago.

“I want yours.” Christian sulks, looking down at his standard pancakes and maple and eyeing mine up
woefully.

“I will hurt you.” I warn with lowered brows, leaning over my plate with a poised fork in the stabbing
motion, I catch Arrick smiling in the corner of my eye.

“She will. I won’t help you either, I know what she can be like.” He laughs as Christian’s face drops
more, his hand going to his brow dramatically.

“Look, if you wanted same as me then you should have ordered the same as me. No one touches my
food, not even him.” I thumb Arrick’s way, which is only met with a smug smile from him as I am clearly
pointing out that he’s special to me.

Stop grinning asshole. We all know it.

“True story dude. I, on the other hand, have no choice but to let her eat my food, cos she’s equally
scary about that, and my life is worth more than pancakes.” Arrick winks my way, giving Christian a
mock look of sympathy.

“Some best friend you turned out to be, even Jenny gives me hers.” He sulks a little, still adopting his
drama queen pose of unfairness and getting lower in his seat as he slumps.

“Ehh, I do not! A woman’s food is a sacred thing. Men have died for less.” Jenny leans forward eyeing
him up with a deadpan expression, scarily serious too. Having to stretch past Nate to see him as he
leans back and slides an arm casually around her back.



“I agree. Never touch a girl’s food, it’s pretty much like fucking her mom.” Nate shrugs, and all eyes dart
to him.

“That’s not even a comparison.” I point out, my brows almost touching my nose with the way his brain
works and shaking my head at him. I catch Arry in the corner of my eye stifling a laugh at his best
mate’s humor and elbow him in the ribs.

“It kinda is.” Arrick agrees, and both men do that whole nodding at one another agreement facial
expression and solidarity bullshit. A reminder of why this is his actual best friend, even if at times I
sometimes do not get it at all.

Arrick stretches his arms up and out before bringing them down, encircling my shoulder with one and
squeezing me tight. Fly move for a player and I sigh at his obviousness, yet leave his arm be. I’m
starting to deflate, tired as hell and my appetite has nosedived as the intense fatigue takes over. I push
my plate at Christian with a defeated pout.

“Here, you can have them, I’m not hungry anymore.” I sigh and rest my elbows on the table with a
complete exhale of exhaustion, sad that I did turn down my favorite thing to eat. Christian is delighted
and dives straight in, pushing his plate aside with relish like he just won the lottery.

“You okay?” Arrick’s concerned tone in my ear has me turning to his worried expression and I nod. He
knows I rarely turn down food, especially not favorite foods.

“Hungover, feeling like hell and badly needing sleep. I think I’m going to go home and leave you all to it
for a while.” I lift my shake and take one last mouthful before tapping his thigh gently to tell him to let
me out of the booth, he slides out obediently, never taking his eyes from me and I catch the utter
disappointment in his face.

“You want me to call you in a bit?” He sounds wary, looks at me with an attempt of a smile but it doesn’t
reach his eyes. I guess he hates the fact I’m leaving, and I hate the fact he hates it. Part of me wants



the space, but a huge part of me wants him alone with me, but I don’t want to stay here, I really need to
lie down.

“You could always come too, you said you needed sleep.” I mutter softly, coyly and push past him to
get out of the booth. I turn as I get free and notice he still has half a plate of food left too. “It’s okay,
maybe you could come when you’re done eating.” I add hastily, nodding at his plate and realizing how
stupid I must look right now. How sad and clingy.

“I’m done … I’m coming now.” He doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t attempt to get back in the booth either, eyes
fixed on me and then he turns to the others. Mind made up and maybe needing to be alone with me
too. I know he probably isn’t done eating but I guess I should accept the fact that he meant every word
about being with me and he is trying so hard to convince me.

“Right guys … breakfast is on me and I guess we will both see you all later.” Arry raises brows at them
with a smile, getting a round of grins in response from the best friends ever. He drops money on the
table that covers the full breakfast and pushes Nate in the head who seems to have his eyes on
Jenny’s cleavage.

“Make sure everyone gets back, try not to lose them.” He smirks and Nate only grins right back.

“Pretty sure I can manage that.”


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