Chapter 37: #37 It Was In Me All Along

Ryder's P.O.V

"Its 11:40 and she'll change at 12. What will happen if she isn't awake by then?" Alec asked mum. She
had a worried and tired look on her face. "I don't know. What will happen?" Mum sighed and slumped
deeper into her chair. "Ryder. You have to bring her back. You just have to. She'll listen to you." Clover
pleaded. "I don't know how to. Alright? What do you think this is Sleeping fucking Beauty? What? She'll
wake up if I kiss her?" I snapped, my grip around Sapph's hand tightening.

"Ryder, I know I haven't seen how Sapphire is when she's with you, but from what I heard, she loves
you, a lot. You have to have faith in her. Try to bring her back." Bella said softly. I furrowed my
eyebrows. "Its true. Even if she has only known you for like, over 10 days, trust me, she loves you. Did
you see her when she spotted you in the woods? She looked so so relieved and happy. And I'm telling
you, you can bring her back. Don't you know her? She would leapt into a fire for people she loves."
Willow joined in. My wall was starting to crumble. "Ryder, you can do it." Mum said softly, her eyes
meeting mine, showing all the confidence she had for me. "Why don't you at least try? Come on guys."
Cole said and opened the room's door, herding everyone out.

I sighed and faced Sapph when the door clicked shut. We had transferred her back to our room. A UV
needle stuck to her arm. I had everyone camp outdide for a wholeday in tents. And we used a hell lot of
tents. I needed to get them out of the pack house in case something happened. I gripped her hand in
both of mine. "Please Sapph, please wake up." I pleaded. The little confidence 8 had deflated when
she showed no response.

I sighed and leaned my forehead against our hands.

"Please Sapphire, I need you with me. I don't know what happened that day, why you acted like that.
But its fine, you were in shock. I'm already thankful that you are still alive... but it would be better if you
woke up. I need you by my side. The pack is crumbling wuthout you. We're all feeling weak and



helpless. Please Sapph, wake up. Do you know how I reacted when you left the pack? Do you know
how I felt when I saw your apartment empty? I threw so big tantrums and you weren't even there to
soothe me. Imagine that. It's lucky the pack house wasn't pulled out brick by brick. I felt like a part of
me died. I really really need you by my side... Sapph, I love you." I murmered into her hands. Nothing
happened and I knew my big ass speech did nothing. I stared at her beautiful unmoving face.

I leaned down and slowly pressed my lips to hers, savouring her lips. I lifted my head and pressed
another light kiss on her cheek.

Wait- Jay said so suddenly that I jumped. He hadn't made an appearance in the last three days that his
sudden voice scared the shit out of me. What? I said irritated. Her wolf, she's stirring, I feel her, Jay
said excitedly. She is? I widened my eyes. Jay nidded his head eagerly.

"Sapphire? Sapph? Can you hear me?" I said, shaking her hand. My breathing quickened in
excitement when I heard her heartbeat becoming steadier and louder. "Sapph? Baby, please. I need
you. Please, wake up." My shaking had increased and now I was shaking her shoulders. I know what
Jay meant. I could feel her stirring. "Sapph." I whispered when her eyelids fluttered open. Her beautiful
blue eyes stared into mine for a second. Then, a piercing and painful scream left her mouth. I jumped
up. Figurung that she was still panicking, I stood up and shuffled to the door.

"Um sorry. I'll get somebody else." I mumbled, reaching for the doorknob. "No. Wait... I didn't mean
that. Its just that-" another scream erupted. I rushed to her side as the door slammed open, the others
rushing in. Their faces paled at the writhing girl on the bed.

"What happened?" Clover asked panicky. "I don't know." I said helplessly.

"Everybody get out!" She screamed, sounding so in pain my heart wrenched. "Its starting." Mum said
worriedly. We shuffled to the door quietly. "Not you Ryder! Everybody else get out!" She yelled as she
curled into a ball. The others sent me hopeful and scared expressions, leaving the room quietly. Mum



shot me a look, telling me that I would be fine. I slowly walked towards my writhing mate, scared that
something might happen the very next second.

"What's... wrong?" I asked hesitantly. "I'm burning Ryder. I'm seriously burning. Its like I'm on fire. But
I'm immune to fire. I just.. " Beads of sweat rolled down her forehead and I hurriely grabbed a fistfull of
tissues, dabbing her dry. I winced when she emitted another scream. "This hurts so much." She
whimpered. "It hurts me as much to see you like that." I mumbled and puehed her blonde hair away
from her forehead. I sat next to her, occasionally placing soft kisses on her face to make her feel better.
She grabbed my hand and squeezed. The pain didn't even reach me. I was too busy feeling helpless to
feel the pain. She'll be in the same pain when she gives birth, Jay muttered and I growled at him,
assume she survives.

"I'm so sorry Ryder." She murmered in pain. "Sorry about what?" I frowned in confusion. "You're so cute
when you frown." She smiled tightly. "What?" I cocked my head to the right a little. "I'm sorry for my
reaction in the woods. Its just.. I was in too much panic and..." she babbled as sweat continued
dripping down and I hurriedly wiped them away. "Shh... I'm fine." I shushed her, covering her mouth.
She pushed my hand away. "I want to tell you. I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. And I'm sorry you
had a shit mate like me." She mumbled. "Don't ever say that. It'll all be worth it at the end." I said
fiercely. She continued to shake her head. "I'm so sorry for dragging you into something this
dangerous." She muttered. I pushed her hair away from her forehead and wiped her sweat away. "I'm
doing this because I love you. I wouldn't change anything for the world." I smiled down at her and
kissed her softly on the lips. I felt her force a smile, despite the pain she was in. "Ryder, I'll understand
if you don't want to stay here. Its dangerous." She murmered as another whimper escaped her. I
smiled, "you are officially never getting rid of me." With that, her soft pink lips connected with mine.

After 10 minutes of writhing in pain, the moment finally came. She cried in pain as I sat beside gripping
her hand for life. Suddenly, her hand became searing hot and I let it go in surprise. "What's
happening?" I asked in panic. "Its fading, the pain... its like its leaving my body by every direction." She



said in confusion. "I know what you're talking about." I backed away a few steps. "What do you mean?"
She frowned in confusion and looked down. She gasped when she caught sight of what frightened me.
Her body was set ablaze. It was like golden and red fire were swimming around her. And the source
was herself. The fire was coming out of her own body. It swirled and swam around her, it would be a
magnificient sight to see if I weren't fearing for her life. She stood there examining herself, full of
interest. The pain stopped as she waited for something to happen next.

The fire once again sinked into her skin and her skin glowed. From pink, to orange. And from orange,
to a light shade of red. Sapph looked up to me, fear in her eyes. I gave her a reassuring smile, urging
her that things will turn out alright. She gave me the sweetest smile she could muster. I was going to
smile back, but my eyes were drawn to her hair.

Her blonde hair that was turning raven black.

"My hair." She gasped, her hair straightening in her hand. Her now red skin now glowed against her
hair. Her hair now black and her skin red, I'm scared for what would happen next.

Her hands dropped by her side and her pupils dilated, as if she zoned out. After a few seconds, they
turned back to normal. But there was something different about them. They were dark pink. Not red,
but dark pink.

"Sapphire?" I asked hesitantly.

She smirked. "I am Drew, the demon side of her." Gwen said, lifting her head proudly. I felt my heart
skip a beat. She looked around nodding, "this place looks nice. Wonder how it'll look after it's burned
down." Her voice was strong and rich, like a melody and full of seduction. It could easily make you lose
yourself in that voice. Of course not more than my sweet Sapphire's. Swirls of fire danced from the tip
of her fingers. Wow, was she straight forward. I opened my mouth to say something but she beat me to



it. "And don't think I don't know about the hundreds of people outside on the lawn." She smirked, a
mischievous glint in her pink eyes.

"Where is Sapphire? What's happening to her right now?" I asked angrily. "Just... pushed to the back.
The longer I take control, the faster her soul burns." She shrugged as if it was no big deal.

"What?" I whispered, fear creeping into my heart.

"There is a way to stop me though, if you succeed. If not, a choice awaits you. Either you die or
Sapphire dies." She said, examining her fingers. I felt my blood run cold. "What.. what do I need to
do?" I swallowed. For once, I was scared. The Alpha of Dark Moon Pack was scared.

"Complete three task in 10 hours. Her soul takes 24 hours to burn out completely. Do you want to take
it?" She raised an eyebrow, her voice challenging. "Why are you asking me this?" I countered. "These
are rules demons need to follow. But believe me, I wouldn't hesitate to burn down this whole place. I
think it will look better black and burned down, don't you think?" She smirked and sat down, crossing
her legs. I gritted my teeth. Drew is dead set on keeping my curiosity intact. She keeps steering away
from my questions. This woman is frustrating. I want Sapphire back. I want my kitten back.

"What do I need to do?" I repeated, taking a deep breath. Drew smirked, making me doubt myself.

"First, find the symbol of love. Not a hard task. Second, name what you love about her, no leaving out
anything. Better make a list pretty boy, a mistake ends either yours or her life. Third, try to bring her
back by taking her to a place she treasures. And there is more to that. Bringing me there won't just
help. You have to touch her with whatever you say." Drew smiled slyly. "I have to give a speech?" I said
in disbelief. "No. I don't care what you say. And it's Sapphire's choice if she wants to vome back." She
shrugged. "Of course she'll come back." I scoffed, Sapphire didn't want this to happen anyway, she
would choose to come back anytime. "Well, I'm not so sure of that. Here's a fact, did you know that
under the power of demons, you won't be completely awaken? Your mind will become blurry and



unsure. And don't even start with her wolf, Gwen will be blocked from her. She'll be in a place of
complete darkness, feeling helpless, not knowing how to return. Its your voice and choice of words that
might bring her back." Drew slipped down from the bed and stood in front of me, her warm breath
fanning my face. "And if I fail, either one of us dies?" I crossed my arms. "That isn't the worst part,
Sapphire's the one to make the choice of whoever's death." She smirked and I paled. If Sapphire was
the one to make the choice, she would surely choose herself. "Yes lover boy, make a choice." She
smiled suductively, "oh, and you can get help from your friends, although I'm sure other than me,
they're all dimly witted." She added. I ignored the part where she insulted me and my friends. "They
wouldn't be able to help either." She murmered. My mind started weighing the options. I nearly slapped
muself. Options has nothing to so with this. Of course I'll bring her back. Hell am I losing her again. "I'll
do it. And you'll stay here until I get answers?" I debated. "Yes. Until the 10 hours are up. Even though I
might be dead from boredom when you get back... but yes. You have 10 hours to figure everything
out." With that, I rushed out of the room, sparing a glance at my watch.

I had 10 hours to fix everything. To save all the pack members, and the 300 new members that joined
our pack that used to be in Silver Paw Pack. And mostly, to save Sapphire.

"What's going on?" Mum rushed to me. "No time to talk, just come with me." I rushed and ran back to
the pack house, deciding to go to Sapphire and I's room to start.

"What's wrong? What's going on?" Clover said impatiently as I went through Sapphire's things, going
through her items for the symbol of love. "What are you looking for?" Alec frowned. I turned to them
and recapped everything that happened as fast as I could. "So now you have 10 hours to complete
everything?" Bella concluded. "Yes." I panted. "Then let's start." Willow clapped her hands.

We began diggig through chests and drawers like madmen. Anything that we could find. "Now this is
awkward..." Alec trailed off as he opened the cupboard. I turned to see him staring at Sapphire's bras.
"Fuck off dude." I shoved him away and started searching through the cupboard.



"I can't find anything..." Mum panted as she leaned against the wall. Clover sat down next to her. "It has
to be here." I argued. "Ryder, we have been searching for," Cole paused and looked down at his watch,
"3 hours." "Yeah, we've been through everything, twice." Willow frowned. "What if its not in this room?"
Clover sat up, deep in thought. "It has to be. All of her stuff is in this room." I mumbled. "Look, let's all
thinks before doing anything alright? We've wasted 3 hours on this." Alec rubbed his hands together.
"You? Thinking?" Cole snorted and got a shove. "Its too early to think." Clover yawned. "What do you
mean early?" I frowned. "Honey, you do know its already 3 in the morning right?" Mum said gently and
my eyes widened in surprise.

"Wait!" I jumped at Bella's sudden voice. "What?" I looked her, hope blooming in my chest. "Symbol of
love. Did you give her anything? Maybe a promise ring or necklace... or something?" Willow asked,
catching on to whatever Bella implied. "Umm... no?" I said after raking my brain.

"You're so unromantic." Willow groaned. "Promise ring is now on my to do list." Alec murmered to me
and a little smile tugged at my lips. "Nah... Sapphire would yell at him for wasting money on a promise
ring anyway. She isn't the romantic kind." Cole snorted and Bella smacked his forehead, making him
yell in pain. "Every girl likes romantic guys, no matter how much they don't like romantic and mushy
stuff." Clover rolled her eyes. "Yeah. She'll feel special if something was dedicated to her." Mum piped
in. That statement immediately shut all the guys up. It was as if the queen just spoken. I could literally
hear the guy's brains whirring, conjuring up some romantic getaway from their newly met mates.

"What if... what if it doesn't exist?" Bella murmered. "But Sapphire... sorry. Drew, it should exist if she
gave us this as a mission right?" Cole frowned. Bella was starting to arouse my suspicion of it. I haven't
given her anything and she hadn't to me. And we couldn't find whatever it was. What if it isn't real?

"Or... it could be a thing that is shaped like a heart. Hearts are a symbol of love." Mum suggested.

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. "Look, Ryder, calm down. We'll succeed. We just need to keep
calm and think, alright?" Alec said and I sighed, giving in and sitting beside him.



"That's where you guys are wrong." Bella said, standing up. "What?" Cole stared at his mate. "Don't
you get it. It's your minds making it complicated. Think simple and we'll get the answer." She crossed
her arms in irritation. Her words were beginning to get to me. The feeling of trusting her increased.

"I'll go with Bella's answer." I announced and the others looked at me as if I sprouted another head.

"Sapphire's life is on the line. You can't just wing it." Clover hissed. "I know... but were wasting time
dwelling on the first. We still have two things to figure out." I said as Bella and Clover opened their
mouths to protest. Surprisingly, Willow was the one who agreed with me. "Guys, trust him. She's his
mate. Would he wing her life that easily? I don't think so." She broke the protests of the two girls. I
smiled at her in appreciation. "I'm not taking your side, I'm just pointing out the truth." She murmered to
me. But I mumbled thanks anyway.

"We'll get back on that later. What's the second Ryder?" Mum asked and I told her. "Hmm... this sounds
easy. I'll get a pen and paper." Clover leaped up. "I think it'll be uncountable. Whoever's writing, be
prepared for your hand to fall off." Alec smirked. "And for that, you'll be writing." Willow ordered. "Damn
right." Bella muttered. "But-" Alec protested and Willow gave him a hard glance, implying that whatever
will happen next wouldn't be pretty if he went against her. He shut his mouth, not wanting to get on his
mate's bad side. "Here." Clover tossed a paper and pen at Alec, which he caught not so gracefully. He
muttered curses as he rubbed his nose, the spot the pen hit.

"You might wanna start now." Alec grumbled. I took a deep breath. It wasn't easy to tell everybody what
I felt for her, when I haven't even told Sapph herself. And hell no I was going to tell them. Sapph would
be the first. We'll all make it through and I'll tell her myself.

I took the paper and pen from Alec. "Can you guys check on the pack members? I... I want to be alone
writing this." I murmered. Cole and Alec opened their mouths. "Ok. We understand you need your
privacy." Bella said and stood up. The others followed. "Good luck." Clover mumbled as she walked out



the bedroom door behind everybody else. "I know you'll do great Ryder." Mum murmered an
encouragement before closing the door behind her.

I stared at the blank paper placed on the ground and let out a frustrated sigh. Well, better get to work,
Jay muttered and I couldn't help but scoff, so you're back now? He cursed at me, words I don't think I
should repeat. Too... ungentleman-like.

When I started to write, my brain froze. Like literally droze. I couldn't think of anything. With much
difficulty, I managed a little.

1. I love her smile

2. I love that she can make me smile and laugh

3. I love her eyes

4. I love her how kind and nice she is

5. I love how she touches me

6. I love how she can make my mind light with just one compliment

7. I love how happy she makes me

8. I love how she managed to open me up

9. I love that she scares me by loving her

My mind stopped at 9. But my hand scribbled one last sentence before stopping. I looked down at the
paper and saw what I scribbled without thinking.



10. I love everything about her cause there is no reasoning to loving someone.

That's when everything clicked. I stood up in excitement. The first mission told me to find the symbol of
love. What has more love than Sapphire and I myself? The symbol of love didn't mean it had to be
worldwide. It just had to be between us two. We're the symbols. Sapphire and I were the symbols. Bella
had said it. Things weren't as complicated as we thought. And the second mission. List what you love
about her. I glanced at the paper again. Love doesn't need a reason. I didn't need a reason to love her.
I love her for being her. And that's enough. If her outer appearance were any uglier, I would've still
loved her. Her being Sapphire Beyonce Jackson was what made me love her. That's why it was so
hard to write it out, because there weren't any legitimate reasons. I clapped my hands in excitement. I
had finished both missions in merely 5 hours. Everyone must have felt my excitement through the pack
bond as they rushed into the room.

I looked at them and noticed something. That was why Drew didn't care if they helped or not. The
answer was in me all along and they wouldn't have been able to help. I was the only one who could
reach out and grab the answers.

"Is everything alright?" Mum asked nervously. "Are you done?" Clover asked unpatiently. Before
anyone could say anything, I answered. "I'm done. And I figured the first one too." I grinned. "Good,
let's get to the last one." Willow clapped her hands eagerly. Mum grinned happily, her face shone
proudly. Bella and Clover looked so relief... I don't even have an example to go with. Alec and Cole
sighed in relief.

"Wait." I stopped them and they all turned to me with raised eyebrows. Only mum's face showed
understanding.

"I also figured why Drew didn't actually care if you guys helped or not." I said as my eyes glazed over,
remembering her words. "They wouldn't be able to help either." She murmered.



"And why is that?" Clover cocked her head to the right in cofusion, her lips pursed. "Because we won't
be able to help." Alec murmered quietly. "Exactly. All the answers are in me. You guys can't do anything
at all. I'm the only one who can reach out to the information. I'm the only one who can do something
about this." I explained gently, not wanting to anger anyone. "So what do you want us to do? Sit around
feeling helpless? Listen Ryder Black, I have just reunited with one of my best friends, and all the time
I've spent with her was when she was unconcious. So don't tell me shit." Bella growled and I felt Jay
flare up at the disrespectful tone. "Do not disrespect me on my property." I snarled. Clover and Willow
leaped up to calm her while Alec and Cole tried to calm Jay down, mumbling all sorts of soothing
words.

Mum stepped forward, deciding to step in.

"Ok, we understand. This is something only you can do. We can't help even if we wanted to." She said
in a firm tone that shut me and Bella both up. She gave me a death glare and walked out of the room.
"I'll go after her. Good luck." Willow said and gave me a tight hug, her eyes glowing with hope. She let
go and went after Bella. "You better not mess this up Alpha. I... I really miss her." Clover sniffled and I
smiled. "No promises." I teased and she punched me lightly on the arm. Geez, everybody is acting like
I'm dying or something. "Stay strong. We need both our Luna and Alpha here." Alec said and Cole
continued, "good luck bro." They man hugged me and I returned it, no matter how awkward it was.
They walked out of the room, sparing me a glance of hope.

I turned to mum. "Oh let me guess, you're going to act as if I'll die." I muttered. "Oh honey." She
laughed lightly and hugged me. She rested her head on my shoulder and rubbed my arms up and
down.

"I never noticed, but you're a grown man now with a mate. But to me, you'll always be my baby." She
whispered and I groaned. "I know I know. You're too old to for that baby shit now." She laughed and I
widened my eyes. She has never cursed in front of me before, like ever. She has scolded me for it, of
course it didn't work, but she has always been very careful to curse in front of me. She merely



shrugged it off and I continued staring at her in awe. "Ryder, you'll do great. You'll do your father proud.
You will succeed in bringing her back and I'll have you back by my side too." She smiled and gently let
me go. That's when reality hit me, hard.

I felt fear creep into my heart. The danger and the possibility of either one of us not returning slammed
into my mind.

"What... what if I don't make it back. What if... what if Sapphire doesn't make it back. Oh god..." I hide
my face in my hands. "Hey, hey. Stop it. think positive and you'll do well." She soothed. I looked up with
fear. "Mum... what if I never see you again after this?" I asked shakingly. Her lips went into a straight
line. "You will Ryder. You will. You'll come back with her. I know you will. I have this feeling in my gut."
Mum murmered and gently stroked my cheeks.

Okay Ryder, man up. What will Sapphire say if she saw this blubbering mess I am. "You'll be waiting
outside the packhouse with the pack members?" I asked slowly. Mum smiled in answer and I nodded
slowly. She went on her tippy tose and kissed me on my cheek. "Good luck. Its... 5:26 now. You have to
do the last mission. Remember, I have faith in you. I love you." Without waiting for an answer, she
closed the room door behind her.

I strained my ears, catching my friend's ragged breathing near the exit of the pack house. They didn't
think that I would make it. They didn't think that I'll make it back. Then we'll prove them wrong, Jay
growled. He hated it when his abilities were being questioned.

I sat down on our bed, running my hand across the soft fabric. Wondering if Sapphire and I will ever
share this bed again. If there do still be times where she tests me. Whether there do be more times
where we hugged or kiss. Wondering if I'll actually be lucky enough to see her again.

I smiled. I will. And shell see me again.

I will make sure of it.




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