Chapter 25

I relax immediately with the hint of softer. Starting to really let go of what happened upstairs when faced
with normal Alexi.

‘‘Was that a try at funny? Did you just make a joke?’’

I can’t help the smile of relief that washes over me, that he’s back to being just his bastard self instead
of psycho self. His pupils are larger and I wonder if his no-show was him just giving himself time to
come down and level out. Getting that crap out of his system so he could act less insane. He knows he
must be more controlled, even in his own domain.

‘‘I do occasionally make them. So, tell me London, how’s first night show time coming along?’’ He
drinks his booze in one shot and taps his glass on the bar to get another, the tender running obediently
to comply and I just swirl mine around disinterested in getting a foggy head tonight when I must be on
the ball. I was never a whisky fan at the best of times. All previous drama forgotten between us.

‘’Boringly content and quiet. Your little sex club is ticking along quite nicely and everyone is behaving.’’ I
nod along to the loud area in the sunken room, and we watch as a tall stout man is led along the
discreet hallway by two girls giggling and flirting mercilessly with him, one is already topless and stops
to kiss her counterpart seductively. Alexi sighs and turns to his fresh drink with a look of complete
disinterest; not a guy that’s happy his new venture is being a first night success. He seems listless and
agitated, as though he doesn’t really want to be here.

‘‘Let’s go upstairs. You don’t have to be afraid to be alone with me. I won’t hurt you.’’ He throws me a
glance and I watch him for a moment, something still quite off in his demeanour, trying to second guess
this sudden invitation to hang out with a guy who rarely puts up with my company. It’s not something
we do when it’s not work related.

‘’What about watching over this … isn’t that what you pay me for?’’ I wave my hand back at the club
and he just shrugs it off.



‘’I pay you to do what I say, and I want you upstairs with me tonight.’’ He repeats sternly, and I catch the
little flicker of a jaw muscle. He may seem like he is back to normal, but there is a restlessness and hint
of aggression peeking through. I normally see him this way when business stresses him out and he lets
off steam by fucking the life out of some bimbo upstairs. It doesn’t sound like it’s just for a nightcap and
an early to sleep routine if he is giving me the invitation instead of rounding up a fresh kill.

Alexi is looking to release his excessive energy, and he is looking at me to vent into. I falter, a refusal
on my lips as nerves get the better of me but there is that stirring deep inside of me that knows I want
to know what it’s like; If that is what he intends with this invitation.

All the butterflies and tingles he gives me with his close proximity will be more intense if he screws me,
and the thought sends a little shiver of anticipation through me, every part of my reproductive system
perks up and shimmies itself to attention.

‘’I thought you said no sex.’’ It’s out without thought, putting my cards on the table because we both
know that’s what he is suggesting, and he smiles at me softly. No qualms, no denial that’s what this is.

‘’So did I. Maybe Gino has a point and this, us, is tension. There’s always something between us that
usually ends in hostility; If I get it over and done with then I might not be so … possessive of my toys.’’
He smirks, making a funny over his cray-cray upstairs and I shake my head at him. Unable to stop the
genuine smile breaking free because we both know that is exactly what he is and it relieves the last of
my uneasy tension. Just when I think he’s a complete arse he goes and makes a self-depreciating joke
about one of his biggest flaws and melts my ice a little. Carrero is a weird one.

‘’I don’t think it’s a wise move. We have a business relationship and sex, even casual, can make a
mess of everything. We know where we stand right now. Don’t muddy the waters Carrero, it’s not like
you.’’ I get up to move away determined not to let this change, despite my body yearning to have him
inside of me now he has planted that seed in my head. I ignore the way my underwear is heating up
and remind myself that it’s better to keep everything on a flat platform where we both know where the



line lies. I’m aware that adrenaline from fear can boost my libido crazily, and that’s all this is. I’m horny
and looking for release because he scared the shit out of me. ‘BOB’ will take care of it later.

Alexi catches me by the hip and draws me to him, even though I am trying to get away discreetly, and
he is having none of it. He slides his glass back and stands up, moving in a flash, so he’s face to face,
pulling me against him bodily with minimal effort. I pause, holding my breath as he moves in and runs a
finger across my cheek as he slides a strand of hair away.

My skin erupts with fire and goose bumps and I stifle the urge to push him away, heart pounding at the
very real possibility he is contemplating this, and I just turned to putty with a touch.

Alexi is strong and solid and very male, all the things which make my body peak and warm to aching
for sex. I should tell him No, make it clear that this is dumb, yet a tiny part of me is tempted, even if I
am clawing myself inside in fear of what this step might do. The tingling gnawing throb in my nether
regions is clouding any rational thoughts, as grey eyes lock on mine and keep me captive.

‘‘Sex means nothing to me. It’s just something I like and do. It won’t change anything except take away
the temptation. Clear the air.’’ I don’t know if he is trying to convince me or himself with that statement
and I want to say we should stop, yet my body is practically peeling its own clothes off. I have no self-
control when it comes to this man being this close. That weirdness about him is still in the air and I
wonder if it’s still the after-effects of whatever strength of his own coke he was snorting.

That would and could explain this complete U-turn in what he wants, and I truly do not know what to do.
Sense says run, my naughty inner goddess who hasn’t been fucked in so long is saying open your legs
and have the time of your life. Alexi has been a lure from day one and the being denied him has only
made this more tempting. My head is a mess as I try to figure out what the hell to do.

Open a can of worms, mess, hostility, and destroy the puzzle of us that I am not sure I would know how
to put back together, to say screw it ‘let’s have sex’ and do things to me I have fantasised about for



weeks. Or say no and stop myself leaping into the fire and probably regret not taking the chance.

If he is this possessive now, what will letting him sleep with me do? And what about his tastes in what
he likes to do during sex? I can’t be tied up and I won’t be his submissive either. There are things from
my past which have left their mark, internally engraved in me and certain sexual scenarios that I know
I’ll freak out over. No matter how much I have tried to overcome them.

He doesn’t seem like someone you give boundaries to.

‘’Sex isn’t something I get emotional over either; it doesn’t mean it won’t change things, Alexi.’’ I sound
feeble and there is no real hint of refusal in my tone. I know where my body is swaying anyway. I’m
almost glued to him and my pelvis is naturally trying to feel out how well-endowed he is. Even I know
he’s put this line up, and we should leave it alone. I’m scared, yet I’m crazy horny for him.

‘’Alexi? What happened to Carrero?’’ He smirks at me and before I get a chance to say anything he
swoops in and catches my mouth with his, moulding his lips to mine effortlessly and somehow teases
me open in the blink of an eye as he kisses me seductively. It literally halts everything inside of me and
I’m stunned and powerless to do anything except be kissed by him. Moulding my lips to fit his as his
tongue trails mine softly and I swear I’m on the verge of falling into weak euphoria when an all-out
panic attack and an overwhelming sense of terror sweeps through me.

Alexi kisses me a little too well. Almost like he was made to do it. I shove him away hard. Clawing back
my sanity somewhat and realising that kiss was the first time in my life that passion and desire
threatened to consume me on a whole other level. I could lose control and myself in him if that kiss is a
hint of what is to come. This is such a really bad idea.

‘’No kissing.’’ I breathe frantically, clawing sanity back and pushing our faces far enough apart to be
able to gasp for air. He doesn’t release his hold on me though and just looks amused.



‘‘Why?’’ He laughs at me, and I just shake my head at him, grasping for sanity. Trying to get my
thoughts in order and my racing heart under control. Full bodily reaction to that mouth.

‘‘It’s too personal and … intimate. It takes it from sex to something else.’’ I untangle myself from him,
mumbling nervously. His hands have slid around my waist as I try to give myself space, but he looks
completely unaffected and just gazes at me. That infuriating Carrero confidence oozing out of every
pore and I hate the fact that his kiss made the earth move for me, but he just looks … Normal. Ughhh

‘’Fine by me. No kissing isn’t a huge deal … Sure I can just concentrate on fucking you instead. Shall
we?’’ He holds out his arm and I just frown at him, not even at the stage of agreeing with this, yet it
seems I already have and I literally stand here in two minds about what to do.

He is way too sure that he has me and out of stubbornness alone, I should tell him to jog on.

Sex with him or not?

Fuck!

This is the worst idea and all my plans of using him for my own gain have long since died.

Don’t be stupid Camilla … Listen to your gut and back the fuck away. He’s too unpredictable and
volatile a force to be manipulated. Playing games and trying to work out his weaknesses are too big a
task and he reads people better than I ever could.

If I have sex with him it will be purely for the act itself and no ulterior motive and I can’t say I am not
tempted. I haven’t had sex with anyone for so long and there is only so much my vibrator can do for
me. Real sex when it’s done well with an accommodating male is so much better. Alexi is my idea of a
wet dream and my curiosity is aching to know what he will feel like all over me and inside of me; he
could be the best sex I have had in a long time or a complete disappointment and a mere mortal in bed.



I need to remember who I am contemplating sleeping with.

Alexi Carrero—terrifying, cold mafia boss. The guy goes from disdain to tolerant around me in swings
and roundabouts daily.

And this change in him is down to ideas from his twin and drug-fuelled clouded thinking. I shouldn’t let
him take control of me this way.

I take his arm regardless, no longer in control of my impulses and curse myself inwardly for being so
weak. I’m playing right into his hands and giving him the upper hand yet my knickers are already self-
combusting at the thought of sex with him. I want to know if he has the skill to match the persona, even
if it’s the worst mistake of my life. I've always been an idiot who lived on the edge of danger and craved
excitement.

Carrero is like a huge vat of toxic soup and with my idiotic sense of adventure, I just dived right in.

 


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