Chapter 190: First Step Was Difficult

Nicole thought for a long time. Seeing Samuel's calm, she decided to speak out.



Maybe their relationship wasn't strong, and maybe no man could stand it.



Nicole was gambling, but felt that Samuel would not be so shallow. She felt it very tangled.



Seeing Nicole was indecisive, Samuel said in low voice, "Don't force yourself. You can tell me
whenever you want to open up to me. I don't need to know immediately. How are you feeling now? Do
you need some foods to taste?"



Nicole felt encouraged because of Samuel's words.



"OK."



Samuel smiled and stood up. He made her a bowl of millet gruel in person.



The gruel looked very sweet, but Nicole still felt somewhat disgusted. However, under his gaze, she
poured it into her mouth.





She had stuffed the bowl of gruel down her stomach because she had no appetite.



She felt everything she had eaten these days was tasteless, and she thought she had a taste problem,
but it turned out to be her own psychology.



She could not overcome it by herself.



Her stomach was upset, but she bore it all the time.



Samuel was worried.



"Don't force yourself. We must go slowly.”



"I know. I feel all right now, and I will just take my time.”



Nicole slightly smiled, but Samuel knew she bore.





"Nicole...”



He wanted to say something, but the doctor walked in.



"Mr. Green, please come out. I want to discuss Lady Bush's illness.”



This “Lady Bush’ did not refer to Nicole, but Zoe.



Samuel was nervous.



"Go ahead. I am fine.”



Nicole knew Zoe's illness was emergency, and she urgent Samuel to come out.



You...”





"lam fine. Even if I don't feel well, I will throw up. Zoe is more important, and I can't go to see her like
this. You take good care of her for me so that I can feel at ease.”



Nicole was worried. No mother could keep calm when she learned of her daughter's illness, and Nicole
was no exception.



It would be a pity that she appeared in front of Zoe like this, and her appearance would be scared Zoe.



Samuel felt Nicole's insistence and softly said, "I will come back quickly. If you feel uncomfortable, call
the doctor. You got it?”



“Okay. Take it easy."



When Samuel left, Nicole hurried over to the bathroom to vomit.



She was depressed. Could she not get over herself?





But if she continued, could she have what she wanted? Was she going to let those people who tried in
every way to ruin her happiness?



No!



No!



She managed to control herself and then stood up a little bit against the wall.



She was weak right now. But she went back to the ward step by step with persistence.



Samuel didn't come back. She didn't know what situation Zoe was in.



She was worried about Zoe.



She hadn't seen Zoe these days and she didn't know how Zoe was doing.





Did Zoe experience something when Nicole was missing?



Why did Zoe stay in St. Petersburg Hospital, only to be brought to the sanitarium by Samuel?



Was it because of what Allen had done to Zoe or Samuel?



Nicole found out many things out of control, even out of her cognition.



Allen was no longer the same as before, which decided that the Brook family and the Green family
were likely to be at odds with each other.



She must know what happened.



She stood up and pushed open the door. It was her first time that she had gone out of the ward.



She needed much courage when she went out of here, especially on her own.





When she pushed the door, she felt that everyone was looking at her, just like the time when she was
on the ship. Their gaze looked so fierce, which made her feel it creepy.



She just stepped out of the foot again, and even wanted to close the door, escaped for a lifetime.

It was good, right?



No one dare to hurt her because of Samuel. She just could not go out.



When she closed the door, she thought of Samuel's concerned eyes.



He was good to her for love, for responsibility and guilty. How long did he last?



How long would she able to squander his affection like this?



People could get tried.



Now that Lucas was missing, Nicole had become haggard, along with Zoe's illness, could these
burdens be placed on Samuel?





Thinking that she just decided to be confident and to stay with Samuel, she could not shrink at this
moment.



She leaned against the door and gasped, trembling all over. No one knew her fear of the crowd and the
outside world, but she

had no choice.



To be protected by Samuel all his life, enjoying his love; or to step out, overcome herself, and become
the wife who could match him.



In fact, she had already decided what to choose, but it was difficult for her to take the first step.



She took a deep breath and then suddenly opened the door.



Because of her sudden appearance, many people subconsciously looked at her.



Their looking made Nicole nervous, but she insisted on it.





She could not hold back!



She could not feel afraid!



She was Nicole. She was the wife of Samuel. She was Zoe's mother. Everyone needed she to stand
up and wanted her to get better, right?



She gasped and felt the cold sweat dribbling down her forehead. And she felt it was hard for her to
move. But she still did not

retreat.



After taking a look at Nicole, everyone looked away and went back to their place. After all, this was a
sanatorium. They had seen many strange patients. Nicole was just too gaunt.



When the people retreated their gaze, Nicole's back had been wet all over.



It was as if she were alive again.





She wanted to cried, looking at everyone.



It was not hard to go out for her, right?



Nicole was excited. She wanted to tell Samuel that she could do it. But when she thought of where
Samuel was, she kept silent.



Zoe!



The doctor just talked about Zoe's illness.



Nicole was worried about Zoe. She hurried over the doctor's office.



The other people still looked at her.



At the beginning, Nicole would suddenly stop and feel unable to move forward. Later, she overcame it.
Though she walked



slowly, she was still calm.



She gradually found out that many people just looked at her for a second, and then turned to look at
other places.



Nicole gasped. She wanted to ask someone where the doctor's office was, but she could not have
courage to ask.



She suddenly found she did not want to talk with others because of the accident.



She resisted everyone, except Samuel.



She was sad but she didn't back down.



It was because Samuel's love and Zoe's illness. It was a kind of encouragement and spur to her.



She insisted and turned around. At last, she caught sight of a familiar figure.





It was Joseph.



Joseph was crying.



Instead of crying like he used to, he cried quietly, which made her painful.



Seeing Joseph, Nicole could not help thinking Lucas.



Where Lucas was?



Nicole was painful but she still walked toward Joseph.



Joseph cried too desperately, with a watch in his hand that Nicole felt a terrible pain in her heart.



It was Lucas's watch that was a birthday present she gave Lucas when he was 4-year-old. But now,
Joseph was holding it.





Joseph's cry was very depressed.



Nicole stretched out her arm and gently hugged him.



He was surprised and raised his head quickly. He was shock when he saw Nicole.



"Aunt?"



Nicole was weak. After she came back, Samuel was not allowed anyone to bother her. Thus, it was
Joseph's first time to see

Nicole, but he was scared by her appearance.



In his memory, Nicole was so beautiful. But now, she looked like an old lady.



“Am I ugly?”





Nicole wanted to smile to him, but she failed.



Joseph quickly shook his head and wiped his tears. But he still cried. He choked and said, "Aunt, I am
so sorry. I didn't take

care of Lucas. He lost. You can hit me out of your anger. I am so sorry."



He took Nicole's hand and hit his face, but Nicole stopped him.



“Don't do that, Joseph, I know you didn't mean it.”



“But it was because of my mother. Aunt, it was because of me. Lucas was treated like this because of
me. No, she isn't my

mother. She was demon. Aunt, you can hit me. I will feel better if you hit me.”



Joseph's pressures all erupted when seeing Nicole.



Why was Nicole, such a good mother, not his mother?





Why did his mother get so bad?



Why?



Joseph wanted to let Nicole punish him, which made Nicole painful. She hugged Joseph tightly.



She knew that Joseph was hit by the accident no less than anyone else. What in the world could be
sad than a child

witnessing the violence of his mother?




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